Learn Positive Self-talk for a Happier Life: Words Matter | The FitFilled Life

Self-talk is your internal dialog. Its the voice in your head that is constantly talking to you. It’s the voice that reminds you to take out the trash, that you really need to workout more, that you need to make a hair appointment, to sit-up straight, don’t eat that, why is my plant on my desk dying, I really need to finish that project, I wish I was thin, I wish had more money….. It’s constantly nagging you to do this, be that.

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What is Self-talk?

Sometimes, our self-talk can get just down-right mean. Telling us that we aren’t worth it, this is why you have no friends, this is why you’re a failure at your job.
But self-talk can be both positive and negative. For some of us positive self-talk comes naturally. These tend to be the ever-optimistic person, where everything out of their mouth is rainbows and butterflies, but for other’s we need to practice positive self-talk. Yes, practice. Just like you would practice yoga. Every day isn’t perfect and we are always learning, but it is a practice. The more you do it the better you become.


“The words you speak become the house you live in.”
My daughter shared this lovely quote with me a few days ago and boy, do these words speak volumes.

So how do you practice positive self-talk?


Here are a few tips to get you started:


  1. Surround yourself with positive people.  Ever notice how best friends act the same? We absorb the feelings, traits and characteristics of those that we spend a lot of time with. Spending time with happy positive people will change your outlook.
  2. Check in with your feelings. It’s ok to have a bad day or just need to vent, but stop yourself during these events and evaluate your self-talk. Is it becoming negative? How can you turn the situation around and make it a positive learning experience?
  3. Affirmations, mantras and quotes. I’m always sharing motivational quotes and spouting mantras, probably to the point of nausea to those around me, but this is why.
  4. Stop comparing yourself to others. Get off of social media. Remember most people only share the version of them that they want you to see, not what’s really happening. This is your journey and no one can live it the way you can.
  5. Be grateful. Start a gratitude journal. At the end of everyday write down three things that you are grateful for. By intentionally recognizing the good in your life, no matter how big or small, will help you practice positive self-talk. 


If your words are always negative, whether you are talking down to yourself or to others, you’ll eventually start to believe it. Or worse yet the person you are talking down to will either believe it or you will eventually drive them away.

If you learn to see the positive in everything, learn to speak kindly to yourself and to others, you will eventually be surrounded in a positive light and you will begin to believe it yourself.

Words are powerful, use them with caution!

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